I found this in someone's blog, and yet the anonymous is me.

-annoymous-

" sometimes you'll feel so happy just to be with someone no matter how it is. you feel safe to share everything, free to smile and scream, appreciated to let people know you care and stuff, brave to do all the dirty sides of youself and willing to forgive and forget even though you don't understand what's happening and even you felt that you're not even wrong.

yet sometimes, you don't. you feel like a pretending imposter. you feel like you aren't care and you're just a nobody. you feel like what you did before was so useless and you felt like a stupid annoymous. it suck, i can tell. so badly that you're willing to let go what you once had. yet somewhere deep down in your heart, you did care. and those feeling to let go all you have now just to get things back like how things were always there, kept as something you never want to tell. "

so here am i, stucked in this kinda position. Im glad i still have others that i really cared. i admit i'm greedy. and i want it too. i don't understand. you said you're fine. yet the things you did wasn't okay. the way you treated me really feels like someone stabbing my heart. i don't understand everything. why will you do this?! i never like this kinda deeling. trying to force a smile when you really don't want, keeping things behind and not saying this out to prevent people think i'm trying to backstabb you and to make things worst. i mean its like since you didn't like this, why wouldn'y you just tell me, us? why would you keep things from us and not share? and yet, i thought we were friends, buddies.

its really hurting. to know someone that you cared do this to you.

it suck so badly . and i hate it.

Yes, it's writing me. All I can say is, this is non of your business. I think our friendship ends on that day, that particular Monday. If you see this, you will know what I am meaning. As for the others, we might continue our friendship, but sorry, I have no intention to do so, because you guys are always on the other side. From that day onwards, I close my heart to you guys. We've been friends for years, so you guys should know what type of person I am. I hate people to blame on me when I did nothing wrong, including my parents. I m so disappointed in you guys, no point of continue being friends again. In fact, there is nothing different if I exist or not.

For the few bold purple lines I highlighted is to tell you, I didnt keep things away to prevent people think I m backstabbing you, because there is NOTHING happened. I behaved like that because I m trying my best to endure your bitchy behaviour.